6 Things That Will Make You Feel Better

I don't know what's wrong with you. But please don't judge me for this - half the time, I don't know what's wrong with me either.

But I do know that whether it's an out-and-out existential crisis or your sandwich falling on the floor, humans are wired in such a way that certain things will undoubtedly make us feel better.

So, like a doctor who's not doing his job right, I'm not going to diagnose you.
But I am going to tell you some tricks that might make you feel better.

"I have no idea what's wrong with you but you'll be fine probably.
That'll be €75 please."

1. Sleep

You know that ancient proverb from the IT technician culture? It goes - "have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
Well, that works for humans too.

See, sleep isn't just that thing you pretend to do when a stranger with questionable motives is making eye contact with you on the bus. Sleep is also one of the main things that keep the brain functioning in a healthy and productive way.
As the great Stephen King once put it (might not be verbatim, it's been a while since I read Insomnia) "sleep is the best nurse mankind has ever known."
In other words, when you go night-night, your brain has an opportunity to cure whatever ails ya. As you slumber, things are being repaired that you didn't even know were broken.
It's why you can fall asleep with a headache and wake up without it, or why you're always prescribed plenty of rest when you're sick.
Sleep also lets our mind subconsciously mull over problems and dilemmas from the day before, which is why you can often wake up feeling more positive about yesterday's problems than you did when you went to bed.

Unfortunately, when something is wrong, we tend to neglect sleep.
Whether we think we can combat our problems by staying up later, we want to distract our brains with something, or we just can't get to sleep, bad times ruin our relationship with sleep.

"Sleep is for the weak! I want another cat video!"

But sleep is critically important. Your CPU has to shut down and restart, remember?
How's it going to do that if you wander to the weird side of YouTube and start questioning everything you ever knew about the mysterious presence of the Babushka Lady at JFK's assassination? (Spoiler alert: It was an alien. Apparently. According to one video on YouTube anyway).

So, you have to find a balance.
If you just can't get to sleep at night, don't worry. The more you worry about it, the less sleep you'll get the next time around. The worst thing that can happen as a result is that you'll be tired the next day - that's all.
Are you stressed about the workload you have pressing on your shoulders?
Don't pull an all-nighter - go to bed earlier than usual, and get up earlier than usual.
Can you just not sleep at night but you're constantly tired?
Grab a quick nap if you can - 45-90 minutes is optimum napping time!
Do you find that you can get to sleep OK but then keep waking up in the night?
Cut out any and all sugar and caffeine after 6pm - it'll help your brain wind down.

2. Exercise & Eat Right

Ew. That heading looks icky.
But, as much as I hate to admit it when I'm really craving some chocolate cake, healthy foods and exercise do a lot for your mental health.

Wow, I can't believe I just said that.
If I didn't know much better, I'd say I'm becoming an adult.

The horror.

A jog or a quick workout sends endorphins firing into your brain. Plenty of endorphins are always welcome - especially during bad times.
Similarly, eating healthy, sensible-sized meals will make your body happier, thus making you happier too.

It doesn't mean you have to starve yourself or take every last opportunity as a chance to go sprinting, but cutting back on sugar, carbs, fat, salt, alcohol, caffeine and sodium for a few days will dramatically increase your mood.
Exercise does the same - while it might be difficult to psyche yourself up for it, you always feel better afterwards.

And then you can reward yourself with brownies and pizza - or brownie-pizza.
Which is a thing now.
2015 is weird.

3. Do Things You Like To Do

'Wow Aimee,' I hear you cry in shock. 'Doing things I like to do will make me happy?'
Yes, you smartass, it sounds obvious but when we're feeling down or caught up with work or bogged down by responsibilities, we often push our hobbies and interests to the side in an effort to confront the problems head-on.

Well, one way to confront them most effectively is to do it while genuinely cheerful. Yeah, sometimes things suck and it can be hard to feel cheerful at all but I'm not saying you need to be totally and completely contented with every facet of your life - you just need a boost.

You are not limited to the box.
You can partake in pursuits outside the box.

At the end of the day, "prioritising" doesn't just mean making time for everything you have to get done - it means making time for things you enjoy doing too.
If you spend every day working your fingers to the bone and not doing anything you actually think is entertaining, don't be surprised if you start to feel pretty terrible.
You're not a machine - you need a portion of each day where you can read a book or sew a tapestry or fly remote-control airplanes or watch TV or whatever it is you like to occupy your free time with.
Even just a little bit of fun can improve your mood dramatically so it might be time to reorganise your schedule to include some playtime.

4. Ask For Help

I'm really bad at asking for help - it's just something I have a huge mental block to.
I'll often start messages to people with "sorry to be asking" or "apologies for needing your help" and I'm usually embarrassed to request some type of support off the same person more than once a decade.
I think a lot of stigma exists around the idea of needing a bit of assistance - we think we're weak if we can't do something on our own but, to be honest, that's not true at all.

This came up as the stock image for "asking for help."
I don't why it did, but I love this picture so much.

Being independent doesn't mean you don't need anyone else ever. It means that you can exist without leeching off of other people and without needing others to do things for you all the time.
It does not mean you won't ever need somebody to lend a hand once in a while when things get rough.

Life is hard. This is something that's said to us as kids, before we even understand what life essentially is. As we grow older, we realize that (unlike with Santa and the Tooth Fairy) they weren't lying to us. Life is really, really hard.
So, naturally, sometimes you're going to need some help.Sometimes you'll need to get someone to give you a hand in lifting something heavy, sometimes you'll need to go to your go to your boss and say you don't understand what's going on, sometimes you'll need to go to your bank and say you need a loan, sometimes you'll need to go to the people you trust and get some advice on an issue you don't know how to fix, sometimes you'll need to go to your college lecturer and say you don't know where you went wrong in your essay, and sometimes (whatever the context) you'll just need to swallow your pride and say "hey, I need some help over here."
Asking for help when you need it is something I've really come to value recently, and I'm trying to make myself do it more.
No matter how prepared and self-sufficient you are, things will undoubtedly spring up that you can't handle all by yourself.
Life might be hard - they said that.
But they never said you'd have to do it alone.

5. Talk

Yes, you could say this also falls under the "Ask For Help" heading but it's so important that I thought it deserved its own separate category.

Seriously, I can't stress the importance of this one enough ...
Talking. Is. Key.

"I really feel we should talk about all these spirals
that show up every time we decide to do something. It's
almost as if we're copyrighted or in the public domain or something."

If you mull something over and over in your head, you start to obsess over it and you especially start to obsess over all its negative aspects.
Saying a problem out loud lets you analyse it more coherently, and it also lets whoever you're talking to weigh in on the matter and offer their own viewpoint (which may very well be something you wouldn't have thought of before).
Solitary rumination usually leads to you becoming engrossed in the issue to the point of despair.
Talking about it will let you think more clearly, particularly if you have somebody else's opinion on the matter too.

Furthermore, it's good to talk in general.
If you're feeling low, you should make sure to touch base with your friends, your family and the people you care about. You don't necessarily have to discuss what's bothering you, you can just hang out and chat to take your mind off things and lift your spirits.
Staying social during the harder times in your life will stop you feeling isolated, and it'll let you have some fun and feel happy - despite the screaming in your soul.

 

"Dude, this thing on your iPad is totally distracting
me from the chasm of melancholy that is my life!"

If you find yourself in a situation where you're not really sure if you can talk to anyone in your life right now, you can pick up the phone and talk to the good folks at 1Life instead.

Or e-mail them at info@1life.ie.

Whatever you decide to do, just don't keep quiet when things are bad.
As an old friend of mine used to say, "when it comes to pain, silence is just not necessary."

6. Know That This Is Only Temporary

I think four of the most comforting words in the English language are "this too shall pass."
Nothing lasts forever, that's a well-known fact. Negative or positive, everything in the world is constantly changing and always in flux.

Literally nothing is permanent - which is a difficulty and a relief and a blessing and a burden and a comforting notion and a terrifying thought all at once.

.

If everything that makes you happy feels like it's slipping away, don't worry - it'll all come back to you.
If something's happened that is irreversible and will never come back to you, you still shouldn't worry - the human psyche is flexible and you can re-adjust to living your life with whatever changes in it that might have taken place.

Alternatively, if everything feels like it's tumbling down on top of you, don't worry about that either - those problems will be fixed and remedied in due time.
Your ability to handle problems and emotions is consistently improving (even when you feel like it isn't) so every day, whether you notice it or not, it all gradually gets a little easier.

Things won't always be this way and you won't always feel this bad.

So hang on pal, this too shall pass. :)

~~~

In the meantime, while things are passing, feel free to check out some of these links ...

- YourMentalHealth (run by the HSE)
- The Mental Health Foundation (operates mainly in the UK)
- Bereaved.ie (run by The Hospice Foundation)
- 26 Ways To Reduce Homesickness
- 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better (a brilliant article by John Cheese)
- 10 Things To Be Grateful For
- Aware.ie (provides information about depression)
- Safe Ireland (provides support for dealing with domestic violence & abuse)
- StudentFinance.ie
- CultEducation.com (provides advice for dealing with family members involved in cults)
- Guide to Stress Management
- Anger Management Counselling
- LifeRing Ireland (alcohol & addiction recovery group)