...My toilet friends. :)
At one point, I left my father by one of the many hot dog kiosks so that I could venture into the clearing behind the main grounds where numerous portable toilets had been set up. Now, I think nearly 80,000 people were at that gig altogether so (even though there were many different designated areas and non-designated bushes in which to relieve oneself), the lines for the toilets in that clearing were pretty astronomical.
So I got in line behind someone and began to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
After about ten minutes, the first incident took place.
I had noticed that the line next to mine had ceased moving entirely and the guy at the front was getting severely pissed off about this, muttering and complaining to the people behind him.
"This is ridiculous...ridiculous!"
Eventually, he just got so impatient that he hammered on the door and alerted the inside inhabitant that twenty minutes was "long fucking enough."
Right then, the door burst open and two twenty-something girls ran out, giggling madly and skipping as if they were in a Disney movie.
They continued laughing as they frolicked around in circles for a few minutes before prancing out of the clearing like majestic deer.
At one point, I left my father by one of the many hot dog kiosks so that I could venture into the clearing behind the main grounds where numerous portable toilets had been set up. Now, I think nearly 80,000 people were at that gig altogether so (even though there were many different designated areas and non-designated bushes in which to relieve oneself), the lines for the toilets in that clearing were pretty astronomical.
So I got in line behind someone and began to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
After about ten minutes, the first incident took place.
I had noticed that the line next to mine had ceased moving entirely and the guy at the front was getting severely pissed off about this, muttering and complaining to the people behind him.
"This is ridiculous...ridiculous!"
Eventually, he just got so impatient that he hammered on the door and alerted the inside inhabitant that twenty minutes was "long fucking enough."
Right then, the door burst open and two twenty-something girls ran out, giggling madly and skipping as if they were in a Disney movie.
They continued laughing as they frolicked around in circles for a few minutes before prancing out of the clearing like majestic deer.
Their grace and enthusiasm was highly reminiscent of Snow White and Cinderella...on drugs in Slane Castle.
After they left, a shocked silence literally fell over our entire side of the clearing while one guy down the back of my own line said out loud what we were all thinking...
"Jesus...I mean, just - just...Jesus!"
The cavorting fairy women encouraged the man in front of me to turn around and address me by saying "well, that was weird, wasn't it?"
After they left, a shocked silence literally fell over our entire side of the clearing while one guy down the back of my own line said out loud what we were all thinking...
"Jesus...I mean, just - just...Jesus!"
The cavorting fairy women encouraged the man in front of me to turn around and address me by saying "well, that was weird, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it sure was."
"What do you think they were doing in there?"
"I think I'd prefer not to know dude!"
"You're probably right..."
The woman standing next to him also turned around and smiled at me.
"I'm Sarah by the way," she said. "And this is Joseph."
"Hi, I'm Aimee."
"What do you think they were doing in there?"
"I think I'd prefer not to know dude!"
"You're probably right..."
The woman standing next to him also turned around and smiled at me.
"I'm Sarah by the way," she said. "And this is Joseph."
"Hi, I'm Aimee."
"Nice to meet you."
"Sorry, she's a lot better at introductions than I am!" Joseph apologised, laughing good-naturedly. "So I think I'll always just leave it up to her!"
Just then, the woman in front of Sarah and Joseph turned around, smiling as if she was deeply moved.
"Sorry, couldn't help but overhear!" she said. "You guys are such a cute couple! How long have you been going out?"
"Oh, we're not together!" Sarah said quickly with a small chuckle.
"Yeah," Joseph chimed in casually. "I met her in this line."
It was then that I seriously began worrying how long the queue would genuinely take. As entertaining as it was so far, I had a horrible suspicion that by the time I actually got to utilise a toilet, Sarah and Joseph would be married...
So for a while, Sarah, Joseph and our new buddy Janet (the one who had turned around to ask how long Sarah and Joseph had been dating) chatted casually about Oasis and what our favourite songs were. Then, quite suddenly, a drunk man in his mid-twenties fell against me. He was completely blasted ("blasted" is my favourite term for being drunk off your face) and babbled incoherently. He was a lot bigger and heavier than me so trying to support him was a bit of a challenge. His girlfriend was in the line next to mine and I distinctly remember her looking sympathetically at me. I foolishly assumed that she was going to offer me some help but instead she simply said "sorry, he's just drunk" and turned away from us to talk to her friend.
In that moment I sincerely hoped that if I ever went to a concert with someone I was dating in the future, they would make an effort to look after me if I was drunk and NOT let me fall on and heavily lean against random fifteen-year-olds.
Mostly because that sounds like something the police come to arrest you for...
Anyway, it was then that I met my dear friend Bríd. Dressed in a skin tight black top, massive hoop earrings and with bleached blonde hair, Bríd was a true Dub who was quick to jump to my defence. Seeing that I was in trouble, she leaned smoothly over, lay a gentle acrylic-nailed hand on my shoulder and softly said "here love, let me help ya!"
The fierce Bríd then put her two hands roughly on the drunkard's arm and gave him a massive shove onto the ground, ferociously yelling "GET OFF YA FUCKIN' BASTARD!!!!"The drunk guy sprawled on the ground, decided that he liked it there and went to sleep in the mud. Joseph started laughing, Janet clapped and applauded and I thanked Bríd who smiled and winked at me.Drunk Guy's girlfriend turned to face Bríd with a look of shock and indignation on her face. But Bríd just calmly lit a cigarette, stared straight back at her and said "better help him love, yer fella's sleepin' in the muck!"
The gang of us had a good time in the line together, laughing and joking around. We made friends with Laura from Mayo and Albin from Poland as well and soon I had a whole group of toilet friends! I'll never forget that time of my life...the six of us had a bond more epic than I can describe to you. When one man came out of one of the portable toilets with news that they were fresh out of toilet paper, Bríd just casually opened her handbag and took out several rolls.
"I was going to throw these into the crowd but it looks like we're going to need them more!"
"Sorry, she's a lot better at introductions than I am!" Joseph apologised, laughing good-naturedly. "So I think I'll always just leave it up to her!"
Just then, the woman in front of Sarah and Joseph turned around, smiling as if she was deeply moved.
"Sorry, couldn't help but overhear!" she said. "You guys are such a cute couple! How long have you been going out?"
"Oh, we're not together!" Sarah said quickly with a small chuckle.
"Yeah," Joseph chimed in casually. "I met her in this line."
It was then that I seriously began worrying how long the queue would genuinely take. As entertaining as it was so far, I had a horrible suspicion that by the time I actually got to utilise a toilet, Sarah and Joseph would be married...
So for a while, Sarah, Joseph and our new buddy Janet (the one who had turned around to ask how long Sarah and Joseph had been dating) chatted casually about Oasis and what our favourite songs were. Then, quite suddenly, a drunk man in his mid-twenties fell against me. He was completely blasted ("blasted" is my favourite term for being drunk off your face) and babbled incoherently. He was a lot bigger and heavier than me so trying to support him was a bit of a challenge. His girlfriend was in the line next to mine and I distinctly remember her looking sympathetically at me. I foolishly assumed that she was going to offer me some help but instead she simply said "sorry, he's just drunk" and turned away from us to talk to her friend.
In that moment I sincerely hoped that if I ever went to a concert with someone I was dating in the future, they would make an effort to look after me if I was drunk and NOT let me fall on and heavily lean against random fifteen-year-olds.
Mostly because that sounds like something the police come to arrest you for...
Anyway, it was then that I met my dear friend Bríd. Dressed in a skin tight black top, massive hoop earrings and with bleached blonde hair, Bríd was a true Dub who was quick to jump to my defence. Seeing that I was in trouble, she leaned smoothly over, lay a gentle acrylic-nailed hand on my shoulder and softly said "here love, let me help ya!"
The fierce Bríd then put her two hands roughly on the drunkard's arm and gave him a massive shove onto the ground, ferociously yelling "GET OFF YA FUCKIN' BASTARD!!!!"The drunk guy sprawled on the ground, decided that he liked it there and went to sleep in the mud. Joseph started laughing, Janet clapped and applauded and I thanked Bríd who smiled and winked at me.Drunk Guy's girlfriend turned to face Bríd with a look of shock and indignation on her face. But Bríd just calmly lit a cigarette, stared straight back at her and said "better help him love, yer fella's sleepin' in the muck!"
The gang of us had a good time in the line together, laughing and joking around. We made friends with Laura from Mayo and Albin from Poland as well and soon I had a whole group of toilet friends! I'll never forget that time of my life...the six of us had a bond more epic than I can describe to you. When one man came out of one of the portable toilets with news that they were fresh out of toilet paper, Bríd just casually opened her handbag and took out several rolls.
"I was going to throw these into the crowd but it looks like we're going to need them more!"
We thanked Bríd for her kindness and continued queuing.
The crisis had been averted and our friendships had been strengthened.
After I finally got to use the toilet, the need for toilet friends had become obsolete. I didn't even get to say goodbye because as soon as I came out from the toilet, Janet, Joseph and Sarah were all gone and Bríd only had time to rush past me shouting "let me in, I'm dying for a piss!" So I just ambled out of the clearing and went back to find my father before the show began.
But I'll always look back on that time in my life with fond nostalgia.
No matter what happens in my life, no one and nothing can ever take away from me the legend of my beloved toilet friends.
The crisis had been averted and our friendships had been strengthened.
After I finally got to use the toilet, the need for toilet friends had become obsolete. I didn't even get to say goodbye because as soon as I came out from the toilet, Janet, Joseph and Sarah were all gone and Bríd only had time to rush past me shouting "let me in, I'm dying for a piss!" So I just ambled out of the clearing and went back to find my father before the show began.
But I'll always look back on that time in my life with fond nostalgia.
No matter what happens in my life, no one and nothing can ever take away from me the legend of my beloved toilet friends.
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