4 Horror Movies You Want To See & The Four I Recommend Instead

I am a big, big fan of the horror genre.

From slasher films to psychological thrillers to haunted house flicks to the good ol' black and white classics, I love them all.
I love how interesting they can be, the insights they can offer by looking at things in a different way, how innovative and original they can be and I love how much they can frighten me.
Some people don't understand it at all but just like a kid half-screaming half-laughing from a jump scare on Halloween, I love being afraid when I know there's no real danger.

However, horror films are a broad-ranging art form that have spawned a whole spectrum of sub-genres. With all that selection, it can be difficult to know what to pick and it can be easy to end up picking something terrible.
Believe me, it's happened to me enough times that I've turned on a horror film and the scariest thing that happened was that I wasted 2 hours of my life watching it.
Some people even think that the entire horror genre is cheesy and clichéd because they've had the misfortune of watching some really awful films.
But it's not, trust me, there's some amazing masterpieces of cinema out there.

From www.horroronscreen.com

Which brings me to the point of this blog post - recommendations!

I'd like to make the point right now that this entire blog post is opinion-based (my opinion to be exact) so they may not be to your own taste.
The films I don't speak highly of in this post are not necessarily bad films - it's just that I'd suggest watching something else, based on my own preferences.
I'll explain exactly why I'm recommending each film as we go so you know precisely what you're getting yourself in for, and can make an informed decision from there.
So, with that that in mind, let's proceed!

So let's get started - what type of horror film do you want to watch?

.

Option 1: I Want A Good Haunted House Film

What You May Want To See:
The Conjuring (2013) or Insidious (2010).

What I Recommend Instead:
The Messengers (2007) or The Haunting In Connecticut (2009).

Why Would I Do That?
I want to start off by saying that there's nothing particularly wrong with The Conjuring or Insidious. There's also nothing wrong with the countless films just like them.
And therein lies the problem.
Ever since The Amityville Horror was released to huge commercial success in 1979, many film studios have tried to replicate its appeal.

Behold: The original Insidious

And by "replicate," I literally mean replicate.
Switch on The Conjuring or Insidious and you'll immediately see a family moving into a new house for a fresh start. In The Conjuring, you'll also see a dog that senses evil before any of the humans do and a teenager who hates it that they've moved away from all her friends. In both films, you'll also see an innocent, vulnerable child who immediately becomes susceptible to paranormal goings-on and you'll see a professional being brought in to deal with the spooky situation.
These are massive clichés in the subgenre of haunted house horror films and usually if you see them within the first fifteen minutes of the movie, you can generally predict how the rest of the story is going to pan out.

Some people would argue with me, saying that these features aren't actually clichés but that they are traditional aspects in the movie type's formula and that a haunted house film without these details doesn't deserve a place in the subgenre.
Well, that's totally fair enough. But you can still think outside the box while staying within the formula.

Take The Haunting In Connecticut for example. Sure, you've got a family moving into a new house but it's not for a fresh start away from some familial inconvenience. It's due to the fact that the teenage son has cancer and this new house is closer to the hospital where he goes for chemotherapy sessions.
This detail adds to the plot because as the son's condition worsens, he becomes closer to the plane of death, giving him a legitimate reason to be the only one in the house seeing weird stuff happening.

Then you've got The Messengers. Turn it on and you'll immediately see a moody teenage daughter who's unhappy to be moving house.
But it turns out that her unhappiness is actually due to the fact that her parents no longer trust her, because of an incident where she had driven drunk with her younger brother in the car.
Just like with The Haunting In Connecticut, this adds to the plot because her parents not trusting her gives them an actual reason not to take their daughter's fear of the new house seriously - thinking she's just lying to them so they can move back home.

So there we have two haunted house films that fit into the formula without being too clichéd.
But the originality of both movies doesn't end there.
The Messengers has a fairly unpredictable plotline - as soon as you think you've figured it out, you're proven wrong. Similarly, halfway through The Haunting In Connecticut, I was sure I knew how things were going to end. But no, they took a different turn.

Both films also boast good jump scares, a talented cast of actors, great special effects and the feeling that you haven't just watched the seventy-ninth remake of The Amityville Horror.

.

Option 2: I Want A Good Found Footage Film

What You May Want To See:
The Devil Inside (2012) or Apartment 143 (2012).

What I Recommend Instead:
The Blair Witch Project (1999) or REC (2007).

Why Would I Do That?

The found footage genre has been around for a long time (as will be mentioned again in this post) but it became really popular again after The Blair Witch Project was met with critical acclaim upon its release.

First thing's first - if you haven't seen The Blair Witch Project, get on it. There's a reason that movie blew up like it did. As far as suspense goes, there's nothing like this one.
A lot of people say they find the ending unsatisfying but I think that's what makes the movie seem so real - the fact that they didn't capture everything on film, (they only captured enough to prove they weren't crazy) is much more believable than a found footage film where they manage to record every little detail.

Plus, the marketing done for this film was nothing short of brilliant

I definitely find it much more believable than a movie like The Devil Inside where they manage to capture every single detail - including a 2 second shot of an irrelevant blind nun who ended up on the movie poster, despite having nothing to do with the storyline in any way whatsoever.

The only shot you will see of the person that the film posters would lead
you to believe is a main character

Stuff like that really annoys me because it's part of the reason people think horror movies are stupid. Why put a random character on the poster if they're completely and totally inconsequential to the movie? Did you see the face of Cate Blanchett's cameo character on the poster for Hot Fuzz? No, you didn't, because that would be senseless. 

Moving away from the movie poster though, I just found both The Devil Inside and Apartment 143 to be incredibly boring. A lot of found footage films make the mistake of showing you every single moment the characters "caught" on tape and that's exactly what these two films do too.
They also offer no answers to any questions you might have about the plot, and Apartment 143 is one of those irritating films with a main character that continues not believing in ghosts long after it is sensible to do so.
For example, when your movie has the character see a ghost multiple times, witness many instances of supernatural activity and actually experience the apartment being savagely assaulted by said specter, it just isn't rational for them to still glance around their surroundings and say "nah, there has to be a more logical explanation for what levitated that girl and violently shoved me face-first into a wall."
If you want ghosts to be a believable phenomenon in your film, you need the humans in it to act believably too.

But don't lose all hope for the found footage genre yet. Like I said, The Blair Witch Project is awesome, and so is a horror film called REC that was made in Spain.
REC was so successful in the Spanish-speaking world that the film was remade in the USA in 2008 as Quarantine.
But if you're going to watch one of them, I definitely recommend the original Spanish version (hope you don't mind subtitles!)

The best way to describe it is that REC is essentially everything I look for in the found footage genre.
It starts off as a convincing documentary series being made by two journalists with everything seeming very credible and real. That's what makes it so scary when the journalists find themselves trapped in a quarantined apartment building with no explanation given to them as to why they can't leave.
Eventually, they begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together by talking to the building's residents (who are just as confused and panicked by the situation as they are).
Because the cast of actors are so brilliant, the viewer is already feeling the same stress and alarm that the characters are going through.
Which means that it's absolutely terrifying when the crazy, paranormal stuff starts happening.

Both REC and The Blair Witch Project are cinematic masterpieces of suspense, tension and fear. They don't waste a second on any irrelevant extra footage, every moment is spent making sure you're eager and afraid for what's going to happen next.

.

Option 3: I Want A Good Psychological Horror Film

What You May Want To See:
Case 39 (2009) or The Quiet Ones (2014).

What I Recommend Instead:
May (2003) or Excision (2012).

Why Would I Do That?

Psychological horror films deal with topics like mental illness, isolation, fear of the unknown, phobias, paranoia and the very mental side of fear.

Unfortunately, some filmmakers interpret this as "sacrifice everything for the sake of senseless drama."
That's essentially how The Quiet Ones can be summarised in my opinion. There's so many twists that the plot stops making sense fairly early on. The main inspiration for this movie seems to come from soaps on evening TV because nearly every word and action seems be focused on making melodrama rather than making sense.
A credible sequence of events, interesting character development and a coherent plotline are all cast aside in favour of pointless emotion and meaningless drama.

There's also not much to say about Case 39 unless you've always dreamt of watching a hallucinating Bridget Jones speed down a highway whilst screaming. Because that was literally the only worthwhile moment in a movie that tried to fill itself with as many "unexpected" dramatic surprises as humanly possible.

Instead of phoning another character in this scene, perhaps
Zellweger should have called her agent to have a serious chat 

But fear not - psychological films can be done exceptionally well too!
Angela Bettis received a cult following for her amazing performance in May, the story of an emotionally disturbed woman trying to find friends and a romantic partner.
(As a side note, the only worthwhile version of Carrie is the 2002 made-for-TV version that stars Bettis in the titular role. Seriously, she's the best Carrie you'll see outside of the one your imagination conjures up from the original novel).
The movie exposes how far loneliness can push the boundaries of one's sanity and there's also some interesting subtext about how people have a habit of trying to cling to their innocence when the loss of one's childhood can actually be a liberating experience.

Plus, creepy dolls.

The film is unique because it starts more like a drama about a lonely woman and then slowly morphs into the horror genre as May's desire to connect with others becomes more and more desperate.
It's also a must-see movie for anyone who enjoys a side of black comedy with their horror films. The movie switches between disturbing scenes and dark jokes so naturally that it draws you even deeper in to the strange world May creates.

The other psychological horror film I recommend is actually one of my favourite movies of all time. Excision is a brilliant portrayal of a young girl with severe mental issues that are not taken seriously.
In my point of view, AnnaLynne McCord is a modern-day horror queen (you should check out her incredible performance in Scorned as well) and her acting in this movie is nothing short of masterful.
In a very different telling of the traditional (and somewhat overdone) "teenage outcast" narrative, we meet Pauline - a genuinely good-natured but very mentally ill young woman whose grip on reality is unsteady at best.
                                 

As Pauline's mother scoffs at her daughter's insistence that she needs psychiatric help, the dream sequences that take place throughout the movie show how deeply disturbed Pauline's worsening mental state really is.
The climax of the movie is the perfect infusion of psychological horror and more conventional gore - as we're shown just how sick Pauline really is. 

.

Option 5: I Want Something More Extreme

What You May Want To See:
The Human Centipede (2009).

What I Recommend Instead:
Cannibal Holocaust (1980).

Why Would I Do That?

Like so many horror fans of my generation, my attention was captured by the controversy and sheer disgust that The Human Centipede generated upon its release.
How could I not be curious about what was supposed to be the most offensive horror film of all time?
So I decided to give it a go.

And it was, without doubt, one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life (and that includes The Room).

To put it very simply, The Human Centipede is boring.
First off, it begins with one of the most overused clichés in horror films - the protagonists' car broke down and they need to go find a phone.
Please.
Apart from that, my main problem with this movie is that shock horror is only shocking if it's not in every single scene. For the entire movie, it's clear that the main objective of The Human Centipede is to appall and repulse you.
But to be honest, I got over how shocked and disgusted I was about a third of the way into the film. Then I was just bored.

Pictured: Boredom

Plus, nothing is explained, there's no motivation for the evil villain to be so evil, and the cinematography hurt my eyes.
If you're wondering, I did watch The Human Centipede 2 and found it to be just as uninteresting and trite. The use of gore was even more badly utilised in the second film. In fact, the use of a narrator might have been better, just to shout "isn't this gross?" at the audience every two seconds. As well as that, the cinematography was even more dull than its predecessor's (black and white was not a good choice for a movie that was already so monotonous).

As for the third one? I haven't seen it, but I'll leave its description up to a beautiful gem of a review I found on Rotten Tomatoes:
                                   

Anyway, if you really want to watch something more extreme that will affect you right down to your core, I think Cannibal Holocaust is your best bet.
It's just as gory as The Human Centipede but there's actual meaning to what's happening onscreen. Instead of being disgusting just for the sake of being disgusting, Cannibal Holocaust uses intense gore and carnage to paint a picture of how ignorant we can be in the western world about societies we don't know much about.
It's also includes scenes of found footage that director Ruggero Deodato thought would be an interesting alternative to more conventional flashback sequences.
                           

After an American film crew go missing in the Amazon rainforest whilst making a documentary, a rescue team is sent to find them (or, at least, find out what happened to them). At first, it seems that the indigenous people living in the rainforest have brutally murdered the documentary makers - but as events unfold, it becomes very clear that that is not the case.
Cannibal Holocaust does what all good art should do - it holds a mirror up to humanity and begs the question of who the real "savages" are.

Now, I must warn you: there are scenes of real animal cruelty in this movie that I always have to fast forward through when I rewatch it.
I think you can get censored versions of the movie now that don't include these scenes and if you're an animal lover like me, I'd definitely recommend trying to get your hands on one of those copies.                                                 

The one thing I hate about this film is that a coatimundi (mistaken to be a muskrat in the movie), a large turtle, a tarantula, a snake, two squirrel monkeys and a pig really were killed for the sake of entertainment. None of these animals suffered but it's still not an excuse.
However, I should mention that Deodato has condemned his past actions, saying that "I was stupid to introduce animals."

Anyway, apart from that one thing, the film is a brilliantly disturbing and incredibly poignant piece of cinema with a very sharp message to deliver to its audience.
In conclusion, this movie offers you all the same gore and shock that The Human Centipede does, without completely wasting your time.
 ~~~I hope you've found something on this list that peaks your interest and - apart from that - happy watching!